What did the snowman eat for breakfast?
Your joke has been submitted!
why did the whoopee cushion not cross the road?
because he ran out of gas!
Posted Jun 17, 2019
what kind of key opens a bannana
Posted Jun 16, 2019
whats the astronots favorite part of the computer
the space bar
what do you call a fake noodle
What has a head and a tail but no body?
Posted Jun 15, 2019
what did the ice cream cone say to the reporter
"whats the scoop"
What is a pilot's favourite type of donut?
Why don't clams share money?
Because they're shellfish!
Where do mice get a new tail?
From the re-tail store!
Posted Jun 13, 2019
What did snowmen eat for lunch?
What computer part is the fastest?
Posted Jun 11, 2019
What type of candy is never on time?
What do you call a sheep covered in chocolate?
What the best part of Switzerland?
I don't know but the flag is a big plus.
Posted Jun 10, 2019
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To show it wasn't a chicken
What do you call cheese that is not yours?
Posted Jun 08, 2019
why was the mathbook sad
it had too much problems
Posted Jun 04, 2019
Why are humans so musical?
Because they are full of organs!
why did the chicken not cross the rode
case he was a big chicken
What did the chicken eat for lunch?
Posted Jun 03, 2019
why did the chicken move to a new home?
his rent was too eggspensive!
Posted Jun 02, 2019
Why shouldn't you write with a broken pencil?
Because it's pointless!
Posted Jun 01, 2019
Why is a hockey arena so hot after a game?
Because all the FANS left!
This joke is a hard joke to figure out:
Guy: Help doctor! I'm addicted to Twitter!
Doctor: Sorry, I don't follow you.
There's a new restaurant called Karma
There's no menu. You get what you deserve
Why do we say break a leg to actors/actresses?
Because every play has a cast
Someone stole my mood ring
I don't know what I feel about that..
To make bucks!
what do bees you to brush their hair?
Which is the tallest building in the world?
The library because it has the most stories.
How many tickles does it take to tickle a octopus?
10 tickles (ten-tickles)
Posted May 30, 2019
what do you call a pig that does karate
a pork chopper
Why did the monkey not tell his joke about butter?
Because he didn't want to spred it!
what's a cats favourite chocolate
Posted May 29, 2019
A rooster lays an egg on the roof of a barn. Which way does the egg roll?
I doesn’t, roosters don’t lay eggs.
Posted May 28, 2019
why was there music coming from the printer
it was jamming again
Posted May 27, 2019
what contry does the cat like best?
what's a cats favorite drink?
a milk shake
Why did the egg cross the road?
Because it Was inside the chicken.
What did the cherries do with the treasure?
They berried it in a dessert island
Posted May 26, 2019
what do you get when you cross a pastry with a snake
what sauce makes you on time when you're late ?
Posted May 25, 2019
how many tickles does it take an octopus to laugh?
What do you eat to get smarter?
Posted May 22, 2019
What did the ocean say to the other?
Nothing it just waved.
What do you call a snake that got eaten?
What do you call a cow that plays a guitar?
What does a tired criminal need?
Arrest (Get it? A-rrest?)
Posted May 20, 2019
What do you call a guy with a rubber toe?
One week ago, my sister asked me to pass her the lipstick. But I accidentally passed her a glue stick...
She still isn't talking to me.
Today at the bank, an old lady told me to check her balance
So I pushed her over
why was 8 afraid of 7
Posted May 18, 2019
How many letters are in the alphabet?
There are 11 letters in “the alphabet”
Posted May 17, 2019
I'm sorry I didn't mean to scare u
what do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire?
what is the most musical part of a chiken
Posted May 14, 2019
what do you call a pig that does caraty
were do snowflakes go to dance
in a snow ball
Posted May 13, 2019
what is the hungriest number?
7, because 7/8/9 (7 ate 9)
Posted May 12, 2019
where do milkshakes come from?
Posted May 11, 2019
what has many holes but carries water
Posted May 10, 2019
whats the chickens favorite song?
What do sea monsters eat?
Fish n' ships
Posted May 09, 2019
what do you call a can opener that doesn't work？
a can't opener
Posted May 05, 2019
What is the most polite month?
what do you call a nacho that got snatched
Posted May 04, 2019
what is the hungriest number??
7 because 7/8/9 [7 ate 9]
what breaks once you say it??
what did the pencil sharpener say to the pencil??
stop spinning in circles and get to the point
what is a cats faviroute color??
Okay, so first. I'll tell you a pizza joke.
Nevermind, it's too CHEESY!! yummy
Posted May 03, 2019
Why is Peter Pan flying all the time?
Because he Never-lands (Get it? Neverland?)
why was the skeleton lonely
because it had no body to play with
what do you call cheese that is not yours
na cho cheese
Posted May 02, 2019
What do you call a bee that lives in the u.s.a.
What did the riddler do?
He riddled around.
Posted Apr 29, 2019
What did the cow say?
What do you get when you cross a wizard and a bear?
What do you call a trceritops that trys AlOT?
what is a sheep's favourite spice?
how are two banana peels like shoes?
because they're slippers
Why did the penguin walk to the other side?
Because it could not fly.
Posted Apr 27, 2019
what did the hat say to the other hat in the store ?
At least you have a head
What did the cow say to the other?
Posted Apr 26, 2019
what type of lions can you find in your front yard.
Posted Apr 25, 2019
I can be as small as a pea, or as large as the sea, and I don't belong to the person who bought me, what am I?
I'm a present.
Posted Apr 24, 2019
What did the egg say to the pther egg?
"Let's get cracking !"
I have keys but no doors.You can come but never leave.What am I ?
I am a keyboard :p ;p
What did the Pacific Ocean Say to the Atlantic ocean?
Nothing. They just waved.
What do you get when you mix a vampire with a snowman?
Posted Apr 23, 2019
Why did the gum cross the road?
Because it was stuck to the chickens foot!!
Posted Apr 20, 2019
what did the plate say to the other plate?
dinner's on me!
what did the bee say to the sushi?
Posted Apr 17, 2019
What has eight legs 0 fingers(and toes) and horrible sight
Posted Apr 16, 2019
What do you call a person that lives in a maze house
I dont know but his house must be amazing.
What do you get when you cross a potato with an elephant?
Posted Apr 15, 2019
Why can't you play hockey with pigs.
They always hog the puck.
Posted Apr 10, 2019
WHY IS SANTA SO GOOD AT KARATE
BECAUSE HE HAS A BLACK BELT
Posted Apr 09, 2019
why was the stadium so hot?
because all the fans left.
Posted Apr 06, 2019
What did football coach say at the bank?
"I want my quarter back."
what does Cinderella wear when she goes swimming?
Why shouldn't you eat a clock?
Because it's too time consuming.
Why does Peter Pan fly?
Because he Neverlands!
Why did the M&M go to school?
Because it wanted to be a Smartie!
when a cow is moving houses what type of truck do they call ?
A mooving truck
Posted Apr 04, 2019
what did one wall say to another wall?
see you on the other sidee
Posted Apr 03, 2019
what did one wall say to the other wall.
see you on the other side.
Posted Apr 02, 2019
why did he lion eat a tight rope walker.
he wanted a well balencet meal.
Posted Apr 01, 2019
What do you call a cat that has a horn?
Posted Mar 31, 2019
Why did the Zebra cross the road ?
The cow was on his lunch break and the chicken was STILL on vacation !
yeah i know , my jokes aren't so funny o_o
why did the cow cross the road ?
The chicken was on vacation !
Why did the Dr. get angry?
Because he had no patients... :)
Posted Mar 30, 2019
Why did the seagulls stay by the sea?
Because if they stayed by the bay, they'd become bagles!
Why did the Ipad go to the Dentist?
Because he had a bluetooth! Haha!
what did the dog name its daughter?
Posted Mar 29, 2019
green is a good colour.
dont you a-green?
what do you call a witch who eats sand
Why don't couples workout
They just don't workout
Posted Mar 28, 2019
what shines and movies mostly sharp real life mostly round what am I
Posted Mar 27, 2019
WHO IS THERE?
LETUCE IN, WE ARE FREEZING.
Posted Mar 26, 2019
how do you get rid of a butter cups tears
suck it up butter cup
The more you take, the more you leave behind. What am I?
Posted Mar 25, 2019
When does Christmas come before Thanksgiving?
In the dictionary
What room do ghosts avoid?
The living room:p
What comes once in a minute, twice in a moment, but never in a thousand years?
The letter "m"
What is the difference between a teacher and a train?
The teacher says spit out your gum, but the train says choo, choo (chew, chew)
Posted Mar 24, 2019
What has space but no room,has Enter but no Exit,has locks but no keys.
A Keyboard. Get it
Why did the teacher send the clock to the office?
Because he was tocking. Funny
Today at the bank, an old lady asked me to check her balance.
So I pushed her over.
What lights up a soccer field?
A soccer match!
why was 8 afraid of 7?
Posted Mar 23, 2019
When do you stop at green and go y red?
When you are eating a watermelon
What did the corn have for breakfast?
Posted Mar 22, 2019
Knock,Knock.who's there?carry,carry who?
me i'm LAZYYYYYY!!
What has a lot of keys but can't open a door?
What has a head and a tail but no body?
A coin. Funny?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Why is it hot outside when it's Sunday?
Because it's Sunday. So funny right.
some thing that flies but doesn't cry, takes people in and out.
Posted Mar 20, 2019
what do you call a cow with no legs
What has a tali a head but no body
What is fast,loud and crunchy.
A rocket chip.
Posted Mar 19, 2019
Why did the teddy bear say no to the dessert.
Because she was stuffed.
why did the cow want to cross the road
because it wanted to go to the movie theater
Wanna hear a joke about construction?
I'm still working on it!
Posted Mar 18, 2019
Why were basketball players messy with cookies?
Because they slammed dunked them!
Why are basketball players messy eaters?
Because they dribble!
there is a dog in the blue house, there is a cat in the red house and who lives in the green house?
Posted Mar 15, 2019
what season is it when you are on a trampoline?
have you heard of the movie constipation?
it has not come out yet
waanna hear a joke ?
hold on let me brace my self
wanna hear a pizza joke ?
nah too chessy
what do you call a cow in a earthquack?
Do you wonder why coffee tastes like dirt?
Because they GROUND it up!!!
what do you call a wasp that's jealous of a bee?
Posted Mar 13, 2019
what do you give a sick bird
What did the dog say to the human?
The dog said ' I'm hungry. I need feeding feed me now please.'
Posted Mar 12, 2019
why did the cow crross the road
because he wanted to go to the moovie theatre
What did the pencil say to the other pencil?
I don't get the point of this?!
Posted Mar 11, 2019
Do you see that cat over there?
I don't think he's feline too good.
Why did everyone boo at the bat?
Because he was bad (bat)
Posted Mar 09, 2019
What do you call a cow on a trampoline?
Why did the apple cross the road?
Cause her granny smith was on the other side
Posted Mar 08, 2019
What did the buffalo say to his son wen he whent to college?
What do witches learn at school???
What do you call a fake pasta
why did the otter cross the road?
to get to the otter side
Posted Mar 06, 2019
What did one decimal say to the other decimal?
We are on point!!
A cowboy rides into a town on Friday, stays for three days, then leaves on Friday.How did he do it.
his horses name was Friday!!!
What goes up but never goes down?
Why was 6 afraid of 7?
Because 7 8 9! (seven ATE nine!) HA HA HA HA
Posted Mar 05, 2019
What has a mouth but can't talk,a bank but no money,and has a lot of things in it but never takes it out？
What would Elsa do if you give her a ballon?
Let it go!
what is always coming but that never comes
Posted Mar 03, 2019
Why are koala's the only animals with jobs?
All the others are not Koalafied!
WHY CANT YOU HEAR A PTERODACTYL GO PEE?
BECAUSE THE "p" IS SILENT
what is a cow's favourite music?
Posted Mar 02, 2019
what is a cows favorite song
What do you call a banana in half?
A banana split!!!
needle a little help!
Posted Mar 01, 2019
what did the wall say to the other wall?
I'll meet you at the other corner!!!!
what did the dressing say to the lettuce?
Get out I'm dressing!!!
what has legs but no arms?
how does a train eat?
What has an head and tail but no body?
Posted Feb 28, 2019
why did the banana go to the doctor
because it wasn't peeling well
whey did the turtle cross the road?
to get to the shell gas station hahahahahahaha
What runs but doesn't walk, what has banks but no money, what is a body but does not have hands, legs or a head?
A body of water
Why did the chiken cross the road
To get to the other side
why didn't the bear cross the road?
because it didn't want to be a chicken
Why does everybody like Mister Mushroom?
Because he was a fungi(fun guy)
what do you call a cow with no legs?
Posted Feb 27, 2019
Why do we tell actors/actresses to “break a leg?”
Because every play has a cast.
were do cows go for the holaday
Posted Feb 25, 2019
In a house, in a room, on a table there was milk and under the table was a ghost, what happened to the milk?
The milk turned into a milk-shake!
Posted Feb 24, 2019
what do you call a witch with sand on her?
Why did the bird cross the kitchen?
To eat (tweet)
Posted Feb 21, 2019
What has a tail but no legs?
Why was the math book depressed?
because it had to many problems in it
What's Barbie's way to cook?
what is the hardest bean a farmer can grow ?
Why were the baseball players so hot?
Because they didn't have any fans!
What starts with an "m" and ends with an "x" and has many letters inside?
Posted Feb 20, 2019
What is a cow's favourite song?
I like to Moo-ve it Moo-ve it!
why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom?
Because the "p" is silent.
Why do bees have sticky hair?
Because they use honey comb!
Posted Feb 15, 2019
Why did the chicken cross the playground
To get to the other slide
why did the guy throw his clock in the air?
to see time fly
Why did the student eat his homework?
Because the teacher told him it was a piece of cake!
Posted Feb 12, 2019
Why was there an ambulance at the vegetable's party?
Because the DJ dropped the beat!
what do you call a pig who does karate
what day do potatoes hate the most
Posted Feb 10, 2019
what is jasmine tiger favourite food?
what do you call a dinosaur when it's sleeping
what do ghosts use to wash their hair?
Posted Feb 09, 2019
Which sea animal eats mints?
Posted Feb 08, 2019
Where do snowmen keep their money?
In snow banks!
Why did the mouse carry the ladder to the school?
because it want to get high school!
Posted Feb 07, 2019
Why don't mountains get cold?
Because they have snow caps.
What is a dentist's favourite dance move?
Posted Feb 06, 2019
what does a lemon use when it gets hurt?
What does Jack Frost like about
Snow and tell
why didn't the teddy bear finish its dinner
Because it was stuffed
Posted Feb 05, 2019
What is so light but the strongest man living, can't hold?
Posted Feb 04, 2019
How do you cut a wave in half?
With a sea saw!
Where do ghosts shop?
At the Boo-tique!
What goes around the world but stays in one corner?
how does snow make you rich?
you can make banks with it.
why did the banana go to the doctor?
because he was not peeling well.
Posted Feb 03, 2019
What belongs to you but others use it more than you do?
Why is camping so stressful?
It's always in tents!
Posted Feb 02, 2019
why is a gem so pretty
because there so rare
how did the baluga and killer whale attract?
they had magnets:)
If Georgie was 10 and his sibling was half his age, how old would his sibling be when he is 100?
His sibling is 95.
What is there a fence around the cemetery?
Because people are dying to go there...
Posted Feb 01, 2019
Why does Peter Pan always flying?
Posted Jan 31, 2019
Why shouldn't you tell secrets in garden?
Because the potatoes have eyes, the corn have ears and the beanstalk.
What do you call a fairy who needs a bath?
Why should you NEVER race a cheetah ?
They will cheat - ah
Posted Jan 29, 2019
Why was the pencil so sad ?
He thought he was pointless
Why did the pony go to the doctor ?
She was feeling horse !
Why should you never trust particles ?
they make up everything
what do tree's drink?
why did the giraffe speak to the trees
because it is to tall
Posted Jan 28, 2019
Why did the mouse throw the clock out the window?
To see time Fly
why did the truck jump over the car?
don't be silly truck's don't jump
why did the tree that loved math so sad？
because he had square roots!
Posted Jan 27, 2019
how does the barber get to work so early
because he knows all the shortcuts
where do sheep go to get there hair cut
to the baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarber
Posted Jan 26, 2019
What do you call fake spaghetti?
What do elves learn in school?
What do you call cheese that's not yours
Posted Jan 25, 2019
Lettuce in, it's cold out here!
what is a cow with a calculator called
a cow caculator
Posted Jan 24, 2019
A candy baa
what did the piece of cheese say to the other?
never mind it was too cheesy!
What has roots as nobody sees,
Is taller than trees,
Up, up it goes,
And yet never grows?
Posted Jan 22, 2019
knock,knock who's there? cow go cow go who
No silly cow go moo!
why can't you give elsa a ballon?
because she might let it go
what did the wasabi say to the bee?
What do give a bird when its sick
Posted Jan 21, 2019
Why is there a fence around a cemetery
People are dying to get in there
what's black and white with red all over
a zebra with a sunburn
Why didn't the computer eat its sandwich?
It already had a byte
Posted Dec 05, 2018
What do flowers drink?
A root beer
Why was the math book sad?
It had too many problems.
Broccoli doesn't have a last name!
Posted Dec 03, 2018
Why did the hot mini marshmallow go to Minnesota?
To get a mini soda.
What do you call a belt with a watch on it?
A waist of time!