What did the snowman eat for breakfast?
Snowflakes
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Why did the sheep cross the road
To go to the baaabers
Posted Dec 18, 2019
why did the boy throw his watch out the window?
because he wanted to watch time fly!
What kind of bug likes to sleep?
A bed bug!
Posted Dec 14, 2019
What does a mother cow say to the baby cow to make it move?
moo-ve!/move
what do you call a singing elf?
a wrapper
What is easy to get in but hard to get out.
trouble
were do birds go to school
high school
Posted Dec 13, 2019
why is an ocean friendly?
Because it's always waving
why do you never give Elsa a balloon
Because she'll let it go
how does a elephant spray water with its trunk?
with his moth.
What do snowmen like to eat for breakfast?
Frostedflakes or ice cream 🍦
Posted Dec 12, 2019
When is a doctor most annoyed?
When he's out of patients!
Posted Dec 11, 2019
What did the baseball glove say to the Ball?
Catch you later!
Why is Europe like a frying pan?
Because it has Greece at the bottom.
What room do ghosts avoid?
The living room.
Why is 6 afraid of 7?
Because 789!
what does a narwhal, a sloth, and penguin have in common?
idk please tell me
WHY IS 6 AFAYED OF7
BECAUSE 789
WHY DID THE COOKIE GO TO THE DOCTOR
BECAUSE IT FELT CRUMY
Posted Dec 10, 2019
what do you call a cat inside a dog.
a curducan
What did the number8 say to the number 0
Nice belt!
what did 5 say to 6?
7,8,9! -seven ate nine!
Posted Dec 09, 2019
what did 2 campfires say to one another?
are you going out tonight?
Where do huskies live?
In the bark-tic!
Posted Dec 08, 2019
What did the Buffalo say to his son when he was going to school.
Bison(bye son).
Posted Dec 07, 2019
When do you go to the dentest?
At 2:30. Toth herty!
why did the banana go to the docter?
He was not filing well
one night a king and a queen went fishing the queen got the first fish. The king got the second fish. Who got the third fish?
the knight!
Posted Dec 06, 2019
what kind of flake dose a snow man eat?
snow flake
What do you call cats on to top of each other
A meowtain
Posted Dec 05, 2019
I get wetter and wetter the more you dry
a towel
Posted Dec 04, 2019
What do you call an ice cream cone on a plane?
The "Turbine"!
Posted Dec 03, 2019
What do you call a pizza with a hole?
"Deep" Dish Pizza!
What do gardeners use to bake a cake?
Flower!
Hey, you, yes you. Wanna hear a joke about vegetables?
Nevermind, It's too "corny"
Where do puffins live?
Auk-land!
what did A say to B???????????????
A said I C E!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted Dec 02, 2019
What is the snakes favourite object🐍
SSScissors ✂️
Posted Dec 01, 2019
what is the snowman's last name
ho,ho,ho
Posted Nov 30, 2019
where did the cat go to for her vacation?
puru
Posted Nov 29, 2019
Why was six afraid of seven?
Because seven eight (ate) nine!
Posted Nov 28, 2019
Why did the boy take a ladder to school?
Because the boy wanted to go to HIGH - school!
What type of bear has no teeth?
A gummy bear!
what did the wall say to the floor?
Meet you at the corner
why did the teddy bear not eat it's dessert?
because it was stuffed
What's a sushi's favorite genre of music?
Rock and "roll"
Posted Nov 27, 2019
What do you call a train chewing gum?
A "chew-chew" train!
How do you throw a party in space?
You "Planet"!
what is the coldest country?
Chille
Posted Nov 24, 2019
Where do horses go when they are sick?
The horsepital.
what do u call a candy that is always late?
chocolate choco late gettit??
what does a ghost wear on a rainy day
boo-ts!
Posted Nov 23, 2019
how to eat a snowman?
melt it
how can a snowman breathe?
smell it!
what happens when you put cake in a pan?
the cake turns into a pancake
What has a head, a body and no nose?
Nobody noes
Posted Nov 22, 2019
How do you get a tissue to dance
Put a little boogie in it
What’s a baby’s favorite thing to do in basketball
Dribble
What do you call a sleeping bull
A bulldozer
What’s a fish called with no I
Fsh
There were two birds sitting in a tree 1 named Pete and the other named repeat if Pete fell who was left?
Repeat there were two birds sitting in a tree one…
Why can’t Santa put gloves on?
Because his claws will go through them.
ger many get it foulks
what happends when a cake gets slapped with a pan?
it turns into a pancake!
Posted Nov 21, 2019
what bird loves construction ?
crane
Posted Nov 20, 2019
why did the snowman eat his nose
because it was a caroot
what does the jalapeno do ???
Gets jalapeno BUISNESS !!!!!!!
why did the turkey cross the street????
to copy the chicken!!!
Posted Nov 17, 2019
yesterday I saw a guy spill his scrabble letters on the road
I asked him " what's the word on the street"?
Hear about the new restaurant called Karma?
there's no menu: you get what you deserve.
why do we tell actors to " break a leg" ?
because every play has a cast
what does a narwhal call its otter friend?
its other friend
Posted Nov 16, 2019
Why did the banana go to the doctor’s?
Because it wasn’t peeling well!
What do you call a monkey with a Banana in each ear?
Anything you like - it can’t hear you!
why did the teeddy bear didnt eat his desert
becuse he was stuuf heheheh
Posted Nov 15, 2019
what did the cow say to the other cow
i gotta MOOOOOO outta here
What did the paper say to the pencil?
Are my joke tear-ble?
Posted Nov 14, 2019
knock knock. who's there? amos. amos who?
amosquito bit me!
What's a snake's favourite subject?
Hissstory
Posted Nov 10, 2019
What's a bird's favourite app?
Tweet-er!
What did the tomato say to the other tomato?
Ketchup!
how many tickles does it take to make a octopus laugh
ten-tickles
what did the floor say to the floor.
this is what I call connecting together
Posted Nov 09, 2019
what did the tomato say to the other tomato during the race?
you better ketchup if you want to win
what did the clock say to the other clock?
you're a ding dong
What did the person say to the other person???????
Hello
Posted Nov 08, 2019
What's a ghost's favorite dessert?
Ice- SCREAM!
Posted Nov 07, 2019
What did the tomato say to the other tomato when they had a race?
You better ketchup if you can
Posted Nov 05, 2019
what is a math teachers favorite tree?
Geomet-ree
why don't you give Elsa a balloon?
Because she will " Let it goooooo!"
What is a fly's favorite food?
Shoo-shi!
what can dance but has no legs? what can sing but has no mouth?
the river.
Posted Nov 04, 2019
what does a cat nap on?
caterpillar
What can you swallow, but can also swallow you?
Water
Posted Nov 02, 2019
how do you weigh a fish?
with it's scales
What do you call an alligator that is wearing a vest?
An Investigator! Get it?? Alligator, Investigator??
Posted Oct 29, 2019
what did the witch say to the other?
I will make you a sandwitch.
Posted Oct 28, 2019
Whats the hottest spot in a house?
a corner because its 90°!
an old lady went to the bank and ask the manager hows my balance?
so the manager pushed her over.
what did the traffic light say to the car?
look away I'm about to change.
How do you weigh a fish?
Posted Oct 27, 2019
why do I not trust stairs
because their always up to something
What Does a astronaut keep his lunch in?
A Launch Box:)
what is a cat's favourite breakfeast?
Mice Crispies:)
What do you call a Monkey in a Minefield?
A BaBOOOOM!
what did the tree wear to the pool?
swimming trunks!!!
Posted Oct 26, 2019
knock knock who's there turnip turnip who...
turnip the volume, this is my favourite song!!!
what do you call a dinosaur that eat cars
a carnivorous
what did the cat say to the other cat
meow
What runs but never walks and what has a mouth but no eyes.
A river!!!!! :) :)
what starts with t and ends with t and is full of t
teapot
Posted Oct 25, 2019
why don't you give elsa a ballon?
cause shell it go
Posted Oct 24, 2019
what did the wall say to the other wall?
I will meet you at the corner
What did the wall say to the other wall?
I'll meet you at the corner!
Posted Oct 19, 2019
what did a shark eat for lunch
peanut butter and jellyfish sandwich
Posted Oct 18, 2019
What has a bed with no pillow and runs but never walks?
A river
Posted Oct 11, 2019
When he is out of patients.
what has a tail and a head but no body
a coin
WHERE DOE STHE GENERAL KEEP HIS ARMIES?
IN HIS SLEEVIES!!!:)
What did the tornado say to the other tornado
See you around
why did the banana go to the doctor
because it was not peeling well
Posted Oct 09, 2019
Why did the Dino cross the road
Because the chicken did't exist
Posted Oct 08, 2019
Where do cows go on there first date?
To the mooovies!
Posted Oct 07, 2019
why did the kid throw a clock out the window
because he wanted to see time fly
what goes up but never goes down
your age
what is tall when young but short when old?
candle
When I am tall I am young and when I am short I am old What I am?
A candle
Posted Oct 06, 2019
Why did the chicken cross The road?
Because Kentucky fried chicken was chasing after him!!!!
Posted Oct 03, 2019
Why did the king go to the dentist?
to get his teeth Crowned!
whats a Canadian astronaut's favourite chocolate?
Mars bar
Posted Oct 02, 2019
why did the kid throw butter out the window
to see a butterfly.
chocolate ask's a question to his friend milk"what coffee type always comes late
latte
how do you get to the bottom of a tower with fire on the top, dogs underneath, sand under that, and witches on the bottom??????????????
eat a hotdog sandwich!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted Sep 30, 2019
Why did the skeleton go to the party alone?
Because he had no body to go with him.
Posted Sep 28, 2019
why did i cook today
becases the market was closed today
why did the chicken cross the road
to get to the other farmer
what do you call a fish with no eyes?
a FSH!
Who likes to roll around
A rock 'n' roll star
what did big bob say?
I'm big!
what's a monster's favourite sweet treat ??????????
SHOCKolate !!!!!!! hahahahaha
Posted Sep 27, 2019
what did the grape say when he got stepped on
nothing but he did let out a little wine
Posted Sep 26, 2019
How did the geography drown??
His grade were below C-level!!! HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
Posted Sep 24, 2019
A man didn't sleep for 365 days at night, how did he do that?
he slept in the day
Posted Sep 23, 2019
why did the dog cross the road
to get to his kibble
why did the cow cross the road?
the cow crossed the road because he wanted to.
Posted Sep 22, 2019
What did the banana eat
The peeling
Posted Sep 20, 2019
what does a bee say mad?:)
unbeelieve able :) :<
what type of book do mice like the best?
Cheesy novels!!
Posted Sep 18, 2019
Why is an upside down 6 afraid of 7?
Because 7 8 9, get it? 7 ate 9 HA HA
where does the snow queen get her ice cream?
Dairy queen!
what is a tree s favorite drinck
root berr
Posted Sep 15, 2019
What is a pirate's favorite letter
R (arrr)
WHY DID THE PIC GO TO JAIL
ITWAS FRAMED
what phones do people in prison use
cell phones
what goes up but never goes down?
Posted Sep 14, 2019
What has holes in it but still holds water?
A sponge!
knock knock who`s there trick who
trick or trick hahaha
why can't you tell a egg a joke?
cause you'll crack them up!
Posted Sep 13, 2019
why did the melon go into the water?
to turn into a watermelon!!!
Posted Sep 12, 2019
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To meet his friends at McDonald’s but they were cooked So sad.
a sloth was attacked by 4 snails and the sloth reported it to the police.
police: can you describe the snails sloth: i don't know ,it all happened so fast
Posted Sep 11, 2019
why did the gum cross the road?
because it was stuck to the chicken's foot
what do you call a fish with no eye?
fsh
what is the most delicious monument?
the leaning tower of pizza!
What do you call a cow who is a boy?
A cow-boy!
Posted Sep 10, 2019
what did the math book say to the math book
you got probloms
Posted Sep 08, 2019
What did the math book say to the other math book
I have so much probloems
Posted Sep 07, 2019
Why is Cinderella so bad at soccer
Because she lost her second shoe
what did the duck say to the rooster
quackadodoldo quack-adodoldo
What do you get when you add 1 beside another 1?
11
What do you get when you cross a vampire with a snowman?
frostbite
what does a leaf say when they want you to leave
leaf
Posted Sep 05, 2019
wath's thi black and whithe
it's a cebra crossing the street
Posted Sep 04, 2019
Knock Knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo who?
Don't cry, I was opening the door
Posted Aug 31, 2019
what do you get when you put a red rock it water
a wet rock :)
what goes up and never goes down.
your age.
Posted Aug 30, 2019
why did the chicken go home
to stay away from being chicken naget
I have a tail and a head but no body, who am I?
A coin.
what is always in the water but never gets wet?
a sea otter! their fur is so thick that the water does not get through to their skin.
Posted Aug 29, 2019
air.
how do you be nice to squirrel
act nuts
You peel the outside of me then You boil me then You only eat the outside of me
Corn on the cob
why did the teacher where sun glasses
because the students were bright
Posted Aug 28, 2019
Why do you not give Elsa a balloon?
Because she will let a go!
Why should you always think inside the box?
Because everyone else is too busy chasing each other around outside the box so inside is already empty!
Posted Aug 27, 2019
To get away from the KFC
Are monsters any good at math?
No. Unless you Count Dracula?
Why is Cinderella so bad at soccer?
Because she kept running away from the ball!
a cowboy rode in town on Friday he stayed 3 days and left on Friday how did he do it?
his horses name was friday
what do you get from crossing a snowman and a vampire?
frostbite!
why does a cat want to crawl
because it is an animal
what do we call a fairy that doesn't bath
a stinkerbell
why do segals fly over the sea not the bay?
because if they fly over the bay they wold be baggels!
Posted Aug 26, 2019
WITCH LETTER WILL HURT YOU IF YOU GET TO CLOSE
B(Bee)
What is Thor"s favorite food?
Thortillas!!!!!!
What is Thors favorite food?
Thortillas !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
WHAT IS BLACK ,WIHTE AND RED EVERYWHERE?
A NEWS PAPER
What time is it?
Time to get a watch.
Why did Grace bring a ruler to bed?
To measure how long she slept.
Why did the mouse bring a ruler to sleep?
To measure how long it slept.
what do you call a train carrying bubblegum?
A chew chew train
What do you do when your computer freezes?
You reboot
Posted Aug 25, 2019
Why did the gum cross the road?
It was stuck to the chicken's foot.
Why did multiple chickens cross the road?
They were playing follow the leader with the first chicken.
Why did the robot cross the road?
'cause it was programmed by the chicken \(^-^)/
what kind of car do kittens drive ?
a cat-illac
Posted Aug 24, 2019
what starts at red and ends at stops at white and green and black?
WATERMELON!!!!!!
What start with T and filled with T and ends with T?
TEAPOT!!!
What never goes up and ends at green?
WATERMELON!!!!!
What do you call a band made by cows?
Moo-sick
Posted Aug 23, 2019
When a teacher asked her class to write a sentence using gladiator, what did one student write?
A lion was chasing my mean aunt Sally and I'm glad-he-ate-her!
Seven ate nine!
Why does the seagull fly above the sea and not the bay?
It would become a bay-gel!
Why did the turkey cross the road?
Because the chicken was on vacation
what do you call a turtle that flies?
a shellicopter !
Posted Aug 22, 2019
what do snakes eat?
sssalsa!
What is that has sea but no water and it has city but no people.
map
why did the snowman melt on winter
because it was not cold enough
Why did centiped's mother cry when its kids ask something to buy?
It cried because its kids ask to buy shoes.
What has a head and a tail but no body?
A PENNY!!!!!
What happens when you throw a blue and yellow rock into water?
THE ROCKS GET WET!!!!!!!
what`s up?
the sky
what do you get when corn is near a POP!?
Popcorn!
Posted Aug 21, 2019
Why was the heavy guy impatient?
Because he had a lot of Wait!
Why was George Washington named like that?
Because he was a professional car washer!
Why Did The Cow Cross the road?
Because it wanted to go to the moo-vies!
What do you get when a snowman crosses a vampire?
A Frostbite!
why a book has ears?
because someone made an earmark on it :)
why was the clock sad?
even though he had hands he couldn't wave at anyone or give a high five
why is the sea salty?
so that the fish wont spoil
why did the farmer cross the road?
he was trying to get the chicken who was trying to cross the road
What's the difference between a fish and a guitar?
you can't tuna fish.
What do you call a milk in a blizzard?
A milkshake!😂
Posted Aug 20, 2019
what did the mother dog call her puppies when they came the snow ?
slush puppes !
when do you go at red at stop at green?
when you're eating a watermelon!!!hahaha
Posted Aug 19, 2019
Why did the teacher wear sunglasses?
Her students were very bright!!!!
Posted Aug 18, 2019
how do bees comb there hair ?
they use honey comb
Posted Aug 17, 2019
why did da goat cross da road?
cause da chicken retired hahaha
Posted Aug 16, 2019
Where do you find an apple?
In the fruit basket
What goes up but never comes down?
Your age
What runs but does not walk?
How can you tell an ocean is friendly?
It waves!
why did the frog cross the road .
because the chicken was on vacation.
why did the chicken cross the road?
I'm not telling you ask the chicken
Posted Aug 15, 2019
Which starts with "T" end with "T" and filled with "T"?
A Teapot
Posted Aug 14, 2019
What belongs to you but others use more than you?
Your name
What did the tree say to the stone?
You ROCK!
Knock Knock Who's there? Julia! Julia who...
Julia the flamingo!
What do you call a train with a lot of bubblegum in it?
A CHEW-CHEW train!
Why did the cow cross the road?
To go to the moo-vie theatre.
When do you go on red and stop on green?
When your eating a watermelon!
Posted Aug 13, 2019
what did an eye say to the other eye
something in between stinks
what is a cat best colour
purrrple
Why did Tiger look in the toilet?
He was looking for his friend Pooh!
why is ten afraid of seven
because ,seven eight nine
Posted Aug 12, 2019
What did summer say to spring?
Oh no I’m going to fall!!
Posted Aug 10, 2019
what did the eraser say to the pencil
stop drawing
Posted Aug 09, 2019
You can see me,put me in a bucket,and i'll make it lighter.What am I?
a hole
what USA state has the smallest drinks?
mini soda (Minnesota)
what did one hat say to the other hat?
stay there I will go on a-head
Posted Aug 08, 2019
WHAT GOES DOWN BUT NEVER UP ?
the rain ........ duh
How much does it cost a pirate to get his ears pierced?
About a buck an ear.
Why was 6 afraid of 7?
Because 7, 8, 9
What do you call a dinosaur that is sleeping?
A dino-snore!
what fruit outside is green inside is red and seed is black
watermelon
why did the chikin cross the park
to get to the other slide
what fruit outside is green inside is red and seed is black?
why did the ice have holes in him ?
he fell apart
She will "LET IT GO LET IT GO!"
Posted Aug 07, 2019
what did the potato said to the tomato
they were friends
Posted Aug 06, 2019
a electric train is going north, which way is the smoke going?
There is no smoke its an electric train!!!!
What did the one plate say to the other?
Lunch is on me!!
Posted Aug 05, 2019
what do you call a worm in king arthers court ?
a night crawler
Posted Aug 03, 2019
what did batman get for valentines day?
bats
what does a cow and duck like to eat
milk and quackers
Posted Aug 02, 2019
if a horse breaks its leg ware does it go.
it goes to a horspital
Posted Aug 01, 2019
why did the boy throw butter out the window
he wanted to see a butterfly
nothing,but he did let out a little wine
why did you go on red and stop at green
Posted Jul 31, 2019
how do you find a miskito bite
you start from scratch
what did the anoying cow said to the man?
moooo!
Posted Jul 30, 2019
What do you get when you cross a fan and a ghost?
A phantom!
what type of tears did the baby cry when he was happy?
tears of joy!
what did the sushi say to the bee ?
wasabi
Posted Jul 27, 2019
WHAT GOES UP BUT NEVER COMES DOWN ?
YOUR AGE
what's sweet but not food?
REVENGE!!!!!>:)
Who has no body and no nose?
NoBODY NOSE
Posted Jul 25, 2019
Why was the toilet paper roll afraid to cross the the road.
He was afraid he might get stuck in a crack.
What do a cow on the ground??????
ground beef!!!! :) :) :) :) :)
Why do cows have hooves instead of feet?
because they lactose
What do you call a fake noodle?
An impasta
Posted Jul 24, 2019
what do you call a man with a rubber toe???????
Roberto
knock knock whos their boo boo who
boo who your crying
What did the ketchup say to the slow bacon?
Ketchup!!!!!!!!
whats the only dog you can eat
hotdog
why did the cow cross the road
To get to the udder side
Posted Jul 23, 2019
Why did the chicken get a cast?
To get his invisible bones heal.
What do you give a sick lemon?
A lemon-aid! :P
What does Alexander the Great and Winnie the Pooh have in common?
The same middle name ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Why is there a fence around the cemetery?
Because people are dying to get in!
Which building has the most stories?
The Library
whats a ten letter word that starts on gas
automobile
Posted Jul 22, 2019
what do firefighters eat with soup?
firecrakers
Posted Jul 21, 2019
how did a man jump of a building ?
he was sleeping in his dearm
Posted Jul 20, 2019
what animal is best at playing baseball
a bat
what do you eat to be smarter.
smarties.
what is the asternaut's favourite chocolate ?
a mars bar !!!!!!!!!
Posted Jul 19, 2019
Where do birds go on dates?
To the tweet-ers!! (;
what is a cows favorite activity
mooooooooooooovie night
why did the bird cross the street
because it forgot to fly
Why did a boy take a ladder to school
Because he went to high school
Posted Jul 18, 2019
What does a sign have to do with being late?
The sign said, "School Ahead, Go Slow!"
Why didn't the physics teacher never get along with the biology teacher?
because they had no chemistry!
what is the strongest animal in the world?
The snail because it can carry its house on its back!
what do librarians take when they go fishing?
bookworms!
were did the egg go for its trip?
he went to new yolk city!
what did the turkey say at the casino?
he said gamble gamble gamble!
Why did the teddy bear not eat the sandwich?
because he was stuffed!
why did a kid eat his home work?
because his teacher said it was a piece of cake!
what did the tissue say do your nose for it to dance?
you got a put a boogie in it
what did the right eye say to the left eye?
between us something smells!
What did the baseball glove say to the ball?
Catch you later.
UH UM I don't know. Nobody does.
What did the sea say to the shore?
Nothing. It just gave a little WAVE.
why did the student eat his homework?
becase the teacher said it was a piece of cake
why fdid the nose not want to go to school
because it didnt want to ggggget picked on
why did the dinosaur cross the road?
because chickens were not invented yet!!!!
An impasta.
What did the pencil say to the other pencil?
You're looking sharp.
Why did the banana go to the doctor?
It was not peeling well.
What did the bacon say to the tomatoe?
Lettuce be friends.
Why can you not give Elsa a balloon??
Because she will "Let it go".
Posted Jul 17, 2019
why couldn't the bike stand by itself?
Because it was two TIREd!
What do you call a dinosaur who is sleeping?
Dino-snore
Why did the boy climb up the school?
Because he wanted to be in high school.
how do trees get on yo social media?
they "log" on!
Posted Jul 16, 2019
why was math so easy.
because it was only 1 2 3
Why did the orange stop?
Because it ran out of juice! lolol
why did dark vader cross the road?
to get to the dark side.
Posted Jul 15, 2019
what do you call a nut without a shell
a donut.
Posted Jul 13, 2019
why is A like a flower????
because a bee/b comes after it!
what did the bird say to the fox
fly like a bird
Posted Jul 12, 2019
why did the banana go to the docters
because it wasnt peeling well
Posted Jul 11, 2019
knock knock. whos there? boo. boo who?
no need too cry its just a joke!!
Posted Jul 10, 2019
what runs but never walks and has a bed but never sleeps?
a river
why do trees hate math?
because it gives them square roots!!!!!
Why did the dog 🐶 not want to go into the sun ☀️
Because he didn’t want to become a hot dog 🌭
What do you call a pokeball that comes to life???
A pokebot!!!
Posted Jul 09, 2019
When do you keep going when its red and stop when its green?
what has 13 hearts?
a card that has 13 hearts.
Posted Jul 08, 2019
why cant dinosaurs clap
they don't exesist
Posted Jul 06, 2019
whatis lighter than air but cant be lifted by the strongest man
bubbles
why did humpty dumty go to china
to fall off the GREAT WALL OF CHINA
Posted Jul 05, 2019
Why did the protons vote for Harry Potter to be president?
Because they didn't want to elect-ron !
What square does a tree love?
A square-root!
what do u call fake noodles
An INPASTA
What starts with an e and ends with an e and has letters in it?
ENVELOPE
To get to the other slide.
Posted Jul 03, 2019
What is the best way to stop milk from going off?
Leaving it inside a cow.
What do you get when you cross a centipede witha chicken?
Enough drumsticks to feed an army.
What do you call a guard with 100 legs?
A sentrypede.
What did one fleaa say to the other flea after a night out?
"Should we walk home or take a dog?"
What do you get when you cross a blind lion witha spiked shoe?
A very crossblind lion.
Which animals are the snootiest?
The ones that live in trees-look down on all the other creature.
Why did dark Vader cross the road?
To get to the dark side.
What did the duck tell the waiter at the restaurant?
Put it on my bill.
why was the dinosaur afraid to go to the library ?
Because his books were millions of years overdue
what is big and grey and has horns
an elephant marching band
Why are pirates called pirates?
Because they ARRR!
Posted Jul 02, 2019
what does a broom eat ?
dust !
Because it was stuck to the chicken's foot.
what happend when alex spilld coffe on his dad ?
he got son burnt.
what do you call a train holding bubblegum
Why can't Cinderella play soccer?
Because she always runs away from the BALL!
Posted Jul 01, 2019
what do you call a tube you can watch on
youtube
Posted Jun 30, 2019
what has 2 hands and a face but always gets looked at
a clock
Posted Jun 29, 2019
What loses its head in the morning but gets it back at night
A pillow
I was looking for a camouflage t-shirt but I couldn't find one.Why couldn't I find it?
Because it was camouflage!
Posted Jun 28, 2019
Why did the pepper put on a sweater?
Because It was a chilli pepper!
to get to the other side
what is a bear without a ear
b! get it!
Posted Jun 27, 2019
what do you call a mountain with ears?
mountaineers
What do you call a penguin in a hot desert?
Lost!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted Jun 26, 2019
Why do the mooses go to the moose room everyday?
Because they wants to eat MOOSE-ROOMS {mush-rooms}
Posted Jun 25, 2019
Posted Jun 24, 2019
What do you call a train that cant drive on a track.
a dead train
Why did Peter go running to the kitchen?
To get a pan. (Peter Pan.)
Posted Jun 23, 2019
What goes up but doesn't go down?
Your Age
Posted Jun 22, 2019
Knock knock Who's there? Lettuce Lettuce who?
Let-us go to the garden
Why did the chicken cross the Mobius strip?
To get to the same side
What is a snow man cross with a vampire??????
Frostbite!! :)
Posted Jun 21, 2019
why did the chicken cross the rode
because he can not fly
you got problems
what is a bananas favourite shoes
slippers
Why did the man with one hand cross the road?
To get to the second hand store.
Because he was no chicken
Posted Jun 20, 2019
What do you call something that is black and white and have red all over it.
a penguin with a sun burn!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
What is a tornado's favorite game?
Twister!
Because 7 8 9! (7 ate 9)
What do you call an insect that bakes?
A batter-fly!
What do you get when you cross a monster and a cake?
A pie-clops!
What did the cow say to the cow?
Mooove it!!
Posted Jun 19, 2019
did you hear the race between the lettuce and the tomato.
the lettuce was a head but the tomato was trying to ketchup ha ha.
Posted Jun 18, 2019
What is a bee's favourite game?
Frizbee!!
why did the whoopee cushion not cross the road?
because he ran out of gas!
Posted Jun 17, 2019
what kind of key opens a bannana
a monkey
Posted Jun 16, 2019
whats the astronots favorite part of the computer
the space bar
what do you call a fake noodle
an INPASTA
Coin
Posted Jun 15, 2019
what did the ice cream cone say to the reporter
"whats the scoop"
What is a pilot's favourite type of donut?
Plain!
Why don't clams share money?
Because they're shellfish!
Where do mice get a new tail?
From the re-tail store!
Posted Jun 13, 2019
What did snowmen eat for lunch?
Ice burgers
What computer part is the fastest?
the DASH-board
Posted Jun 11, 2019
What type of candy is never on time?
choco-LATE
What do you call a sheep covered in chocolate?
Chocolate BAA
What the best part of Switzerland?
I don't know but the flag is a big plus.
Posted Jun 10, 2019
To show it wasn't a chicken
What do you call cheese that is not yours?
Nocho cheese
Posted Jun 08, 2019
why was the mathbook sad
it had too much problems
Posted Jun 04, 2019
Why are humans so musical?
Because they are full of organs!
why did the chicken not cross the rode
case he was a big chicken
What did the chicken eat for lunch?
Chickpeas!
Posted Jun 03, 2019
why did the chicken move to a new home?
his rent was too eggspensive!
Posted Jun 02, 2019
Why shouldn't you write with a broken pencil?
Because it's pointless!
Posted Jun 01, 2019
Why is a hockey arena so hot after a game?
Because all the FANS left!
This joke is a hard joke to figure out: Guy: Help doctor! I'm addicted to Twitter!
Doctor: Sorry, I don't follow you.
There's a new restaurant called Karma
There's no menu. You get what you deserve
Why do we say break a leg to actors/actresses?
Because every play has a cast
Someone stole my mood ring
I don't know what I feel about that.. ;-;
To make bucks!
what do bees you to brush their hair?
Honey combs
Which is the tallest building in the world?
The library because it has the most stories.
How many tickles does it take to tickle a octopus?
10 tickles (ten-tickles)
Posted May 30, 2019
what do you call a pig that does karate
a pork chopper
Why did the monkey not tell his joke about butter?
Because he didn't want to spred it!
what's a cats favourite chocolate
kitty cat
Posted May 29, 2019
A rooster lays an egg on the roof of a barn. Which way does the egg roll?
I doesn’t, roosters don’t lay eggs.
Posted May 28, 2019
why was there music coming from the printer
it was jamming again
Posted May 27, 2019
what contry does the cat like best?
prrrrrrrru
what's a cats favorite drink?
a milk shake
Why did the egg cross the road?
Because it Was inside the chicken.
What did the cherries do with the treasure?
They berried it in a dessert island
Posted May 26, 2019
what do you get when you cross a pastry with a snake
A pie-thon
what sauce makes you on time when you're late ?
ketchup
Posted May 25, 2019
how many tickles does it take an octopus to laugh?
Ten-tickles (tentacles)!
What do you eat to get smarter?
Smarties!
Posted May 22, 2019
What did the ocean say to the other?
Nothing it just waved.
What do you call a snake that got eaten?
Snack.
What do you call a cow that plays a guitar?
A Moocisan
What does a tired criminal need?
Arrest (Get it? A-rrest?)
Posted May 20, 2019
What do you call a guy with a rubber toe?
Roberto!
One week ago, my sister asked me to pass her the lipstick. But I accidentally passed her a glue stick...
She still isn't talking to me.
Today at the bank, an old lady told me to check her balance
So I pushed her over
why was 8 afraid of 7
because 789
Posted May 18, 2019
How many letters are in the alphabet?
There are 11 letters in “the alphabet”
Posted May 17, 2019
knock knock? whos there? Boo. Boo who?
I'm sorry I didn't mean to scare u
what do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire?
Frostbite
what is the most musical part of a chiken
the drumsticks
Posted May 14, 2019
what do you call a pig that does caraty
porkchop
were do snowflakes go to dance
in a snow ball
Posted May 13, 2019
what is the hungriest number?
7, because 7/8/9 (7 ate 9)
Posted May 12, 2019
where do milkshakes come from?
nervous cows
Posted May 11, 2019
what has many holes but carries water
a sponge
Posted May 10, 2019
whats the chickens favorite song?
chikachika boomboom
What do sea monsters eat?
Fish n' ships
Posted May 09, 2019
what do you call a can opener that doesn't work？
a can't opener
Posted May 05, 2019
What is the most polite month?
May
what do you call a nacho that got snatched
a snacho
Posted May 04, 2019
what is the hungriest number??
7 because 7/8/9 [7 ate 9]
what breaks once you say it??
silence
what did the pencil sharpener say to the pencil??
stop spinning in circles and get to the point
what is a cats faviroute color??
prrruple
Okay, so first. I'll tell you a pizza joke.
Nevermind, it's too CHEESY!! yummy
Posted May 03, 2019
Why is Peter Pan flying all the time?
Because he Never-lands (Get it? Neverland?)
why was the skeleton lonely
because it had no body to play with
what do you call cheese that is not yours
na cho cheese
Posted May 02, 2019
What do you call a bee that lives in the u.s.a.
A U.S.B.
What did the riddler do?
He riddled around.
Posted Apr 29, 2019
What did the cow say?
Moooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooove
What do you get when you cross a wizard and a bear?
Harry pawter
What do you call a trceritops that trys AlOT?
Tryceritops
what is a sheep's favourite spice?
baaaaaaaaasil
how are two banana peels like shoes?
because they're slippers
Why did the penguin walk to the other side?
Because it could not fly.
Posted Apr 27, 2019
what did the hat say to the other hat in the store ?
At least you have a head
What did the cow say to the other?
Moooooove
Posted Apr 26, 2019
what type of lions can you find in your front yard.
dande lions
Posted Apr 25, 2019
I can be as small as a pea, or as large as the sea, and I don't belong to the person who bought me, what am I?
I'm a present.
Posted Apr 24, 2019
What did the egg say to the pther egg?
"Let's get cracking !"
I have keys but no doors.You can come but never leave.What am I ?
I am a keyboard :p ;p
What did the Pacific Ocean Say to the Atlantic ocean?
Nothing. They just waved.
What do you get when you mix a vampire with a snowman?
Posted Apr 23, 2019
Because it was stuck to the chickens foot!!
Posted Apr 20, 2019
what did the plate say to the other plate?
dinner's on me!
what did the bee say to the sushi?
Posted Apr 17, 2019
What has eight legs 0 fingers(and toes) and horrible sight
A spider
Posted Apr 16, 2019
What do you call a person that lives in a maze house
I dont know but his house must be amazing.
What do you get when you cross a potato with an elephant?
Mashed potatoes!
Posted Apr 15, 2019
Why can't you play hockey with pigs.
They always hog the puck.
Posted Apr 10, 2019
WHY IS SANTA SO GOOD AT KARATE
BECAUSE HE HAS A BLACK BELT
Posted Apr 09, 2019
why was the stadium so hot?
because all the fans left.
Posted Apr 06, 2019
What did football coach say at the bank?
"I want my quarter back."
what does Cinderella wear when she goes swimming?
glass flippers
Why shouldn't you eat a clock?
Because it's too time consuming.
Why does Peter Pan fly?
Because he Neverlands!
Why did the M&M go to school?
Because it wanted to be a Smartie!
when a cow is moving houses what type of truck do they call ?
A mooving truck
Posted Apr 04, 2019
what did one wall say to another wall?
see you on the other sidee
Posted Apr 03, 2019
what did one wall say to the other wall.
see you on the other side.
Posted Apr 02, 2019
why did he lion eat a tight rope walker.
he wanted a well balencet meal.
Posted Apr 01, 2019
What do you call a cat that has a horn?
Unikitty
Posted Mar 31, 2019
Why did the Zebra cross the road ?
The cow was on his lunch break and the chicken was STILL on vacation ! yeah i know , my jokes aren't so funny o_o
why did the cow cross the road ?
The chicken was on vacation !
Why did the Dr. get angry?
Because he had no patients... :)
Posted Mar 30, 2019
Why did the seagulls stay by the sea?
Because if they stayed by the bay, they'd become bagles!
Why did the Ipad go to the Dentist?
Because he had a bluetooth! Haha!
what did the dog name its daughter?
dogther
Posted Mar 29, 2019
green is a good colour.
dont you a-green?
what do you call a witch who eats sand
a sandwitch
Why don't couples workout
They just don't workout
Posted Mar 28, 2019
what shines and movies mostly sharp real life mostly round what am I
A gem
Posted Mar 27, 2019
KNOCK KNOCK... WHO IS THERE?
LETUCE IN, WE ARE FREEZING. LLLLLOOOOOLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted Mar 26, 2019
how do you get rid of a butter cups tears
suck it up butter cup
The more you take, the more you leave behind. What am I?
Footsteps!
Posted Mar 25, 2019
When does Christmas come before Thanksgiving?
In the dictionary
The living room:p
What comes once in a minute, twice in a moment, but never in a thousand years?
The letter "m"
What is the difference between a teacher and a train?
The teacher says spit out your gum, but the train says choo, choo (chew, chew)
Posted Mar 24, 2019
What has space but no room,has Enter but no Exit,has locks but no keys.
A Keyboard. Get it
Why did the teacher send the clock to the office?
Because he was tocking. Funny
Today at the bank, an old lady asked me to check her balance.
So I pushed her over.
What lights up a soccer field?
A soccer match!
why was 8 afraid of 7?
cause 7,8,9
Posted Mar 23, 2019
When do you stop at green and go y red?
When you are eating a watermelon
What did the corn have for breakfast?
cornflakes. LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted Mar 22, 2019
Knock,Knock.who's there?carry,carry who?
me i'm LAZYYYYYY!!
What has a lot of keys but can't open a door?
A piano.
A coin. Funny?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Why is it hot outside when it's Sunday?
Because it's Sunday. So funny right.
some thing that flies but doesn't cry, takes people in and out.
an aeroplane
Posted Mar 20, 2019
what do you call a cow with no legs
Ground beef
What has a tali a head but no body
A coin
What is fast,loud and crunchy.
A rocket chip.
Posted Mar 19, 2019
Why did the teddy bear say no to the dessert.
Because she was stuffed.
why did the cow want to cross the road
because it wanted to go to the movie theater
Wanna hear a joke about construction?
I'm still working on it!
Posted Mar 18, 2019
Why were basketball players messy with cookies?
Because they slammed dunked them!
Why are basketball players messy eaters?
Because they dribble!
there is a dog in the blue house, there is a cat in the red house and who lives in the green house?
plants
Posted Mar 15, 2019
what season is it when you are on a trampoline?
spring time!
have you heard of the movie constipation?
it has not come out yet
waanna hear a joke ?
hold on let me brace my self
wanna hear a pizza joke ?
nah too chessy
what do you call a cow in a earthquack?
a milkshake!!1
Do you wonder why coffee tastes like dirt?
Because they GROUND it up!!!
Knock, knock!!! Who's there? Hatch. Hatch who?
Bless you!!!!!!!!!!!
what do you call a wasp that's jealous of a bee?
a wanna-bee
Posted Mar 13, 2019
what do you give a sick bird
tweetment
What did the dog say to the human?
The dog said ' I'm hungry. I need feeding feed me now please.'
Posted Mar 12, 2019
why did the cow crross the road
because he wanted to go to the moovie theatre
I don't get the point of this?!
Posted Mar 11, 2019
Do you see that cat over there?
I don't think he's feline too good.
Why did everyone boo at the bat?
Because he was bad (bat)
Posted Mar 09, 2019
What do you call a cow on a trampoline?
A milkshake!
Why did the apple cross the road?
Cause her granny smith was on the other side
Posted Mar 08, 2019
What did the buffalo say to his son wen he whent to college?
Byeson🤪
What do witches learn at school???
SPELLING 😹😹!!!!
What do you call a fake pasta
an Impasta
why did the otter cross the road?
to get to the otter side
Posted Mar 06, 2019
What did one decimal say to the other decimal?
We are on point!!
A cowboy rides into a town on Friday, stays for three days, then leaves on Friday.How did he do it.
his horses name was Friday!!!
What goes up but never goes down?
Because 7 8 9! (seven ATE nine!) HA HA HA HA
Posted Mar 05, 2019
What has a mouth but can't talk,a bank but no money,and has a lot of things in it but never takes it out？
a river!
What would Elsa do if you give her a ballon?
Let it go!
what is always coming but that never comes
tomorrow
Posted Mar 03, 2019
Why are koala's the only animals with jobs?
All the others are not Koalafied!
WHY CANT YOU HEAR A PTERODACTYL GO PEE?
BECAUSE THE "p" IS SILENT
what is a cow's favourite music?
Moooooooosic.
Posted Mar 02, 2019
what is a cows favorite song
moooosic
What do you call a banana in half?
A banana split!!!
knock knock who's there? needle needle who?
needle a little help!
Posted Mar 01, 2019
I'll meet you at the other corner!!!!
what did the dressing say to the lettuce?
Get out I'm dressing!!!
what has legs but no arms?
A table
how does a train eat?
it chew-chews
What has an head and tail but no body?
Posted Feb 28, 2019
because it wasn't peeling well
whey did the turtle cross the road?
to get to the shell gas station hahahahahahaha
What runs but doesn't walk, what has banks but no money, what is a body but does not have hands, legs or a head?
A body of water
Why did the chiken cross the road
To get to the other side
why didn't the bear cross the road?
because it didn't want to be a chicken
Why does everybody like Mister Mushroom?
Because he was a fungi(fun guy)
what do you call a cow with no legs?
ground beef!
Posted Feb 27, 2019
Why do we tell actors/actresses to “break a leg?”
Because every play has a cast.
were do cows go for the holaday
the mooves
Posted Feb 25, 2019
In a house, in a room, on a table there was milk and under the table was a ghost, what happened to the milk?
The milk turned into a milk-shake!
Posted Feb 24, 2019
what do you call a witch with sand on her?
A sandwich!
Why did the bird cross the kitchen?
To eat (tweet)
Posted Feb 21, 2019
What has a tail but no legs?
Why was the math book depressed?
because it had to many problems in it
What's Barbie's way to cook?
BBQ
what is the hardest bean a farmer can grow ?
a JELLYBEAN
Why were the baseball players so hot?
Because they didn't have any fans!
What starts with an "m" and ends with an "x" and has many letters inside?
A mailbox!
Posted Feb 20, 2019
What is a cow's favourite song?
I like to Moo-ve it Moo-ve it!
why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom?
Because the "p" is silent.
Why do bees have sticky hair?
Because they use honey comb!
Posted Feb 15, 2019
Why did the chicken cross the playground
To get to the other slide
why did the guy throw his clock in the air?
to see time fly
Why did the student eat his homework?
Because the teacher told him it was a piece of cake!
Posted Feb 12, 2019
Why was there an ambulance at the vegetable's party?
Because the DJ dropped the beat!
what do you call a pig who does karate
pork-chop
what day do potatoes hate the most
friday
Posted Feb 10, 2019
what is jasmine tiger favourite food?
frosted flakes!
what do you call a dinosaur when it's sleeping
a dinosnore
what do ghosts use to wash their hair?
sham-boo!
Posted Feb 09, 2019
Which sea animal eats mints?
A mintarey.
Posted Feb 08, 2019
Where do snowmen keep their money?
In snow banks!
Why did the mouse carry the ladder to the school?
because it want to get high school!
Posted Feb 07, 2019
Why don't mountains get cold?
Because they have snow caps.
What is a dentist's favourite dance move?
The Floss
Posted Feb 06, 2019
what does a lemon use when it gets hurt?
lemon aid
What does Jack Frost like about School
Snow and tell
why didn't the teddy bear finish its dinner
Because it was stuffed
Posted Feb 05, 2019
What is so light but the strongest man living, can't hold?
Breath
Posted Feb 04, 2019
How do you cut a wave in half?
With a sea saw!
Where do ghosts shop?
At the Boo-tique!
What goes around the world but stays in one corner?
A stamp
how does snow make you rich?
you can make banks with it.
why did the banana go to the doctor?
because he was not peeling well.
Posted Feb 03, 2019
What belongs to you but others use it more than you do?
Why is camping so stressful?
It's always in tents!
Posted Feb 02, 2019
why is a gem so pretty
because there so rare
how did the baluga and killer whale attract?
they had magnets:)
If Georgie was 10 and his sibling was half his age, how old would his sibling be when he is 100?
His sibling is 95.
What is there a fence around the cemetery?
Because people are dying to go there...
Posted Feb 01, 2019
Why does Peter Pan always flying?
He Neverlands.
Posted Jan 31, 2019
Why shouldn't you tell secrets in garden?
Because the potatoes have eyes, the corn have ears and the beanstalk.
What do you call a fairy who needs a bath?
Stinker Bell
Why should you NEVER race a cheetah ?
They will cheat - ah
Posted Jan 29, 2019
Why was the pencil so sad ?
He thought he was pointless
Why did the pony go to the doctor ?
She was feeling horse !
Why should you never trust particles ?
they make up everything
what do tree's drink?
root beer!
why did the giraffe speak to the trees
because it is to tall
Posted Jan 28, 2019
Why did the mouse throw the clock out the window?
To see time Fly
why did the truck jump over the car?
don't be silly truck's don't jump
why did the tree that loved math so sad？
because he had square roots!
Posted Jan 27, 2019
how does the barber get to work so early
because he knows all the shortcuts
where do sheep go to get there hair cut
to the baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarber
Posted Jan 26, 2019
What do you call fake spaghetti?
An im-pasta!
What do elves learn in school?
The elf-abet.
What do you call cheese that's not yours
Nachocheese
Posted Jan 25, 2019
Knock-knock Who's there? Lettuce. Lettuce who?
Lettuce in, it's cold out here!
what is a cow with a calculator called
a cow caculator
Posted Jan 24, 2019
A candy baa
what did the piece of cheese say to the other?
never mind it was too cheesy!
What has roots as nobody sees, Is taller than trees, Up, up it goes, And yet never grows?
mountains
Posted Jan 22, 2019
knock,knock who's there? cow go cow go who
No silly cow go moo!
why can't you give elsa a ballon?
because she might let it go
what did the wasabi say to the bee?
whatsup bee
What do give a bird when its sick
A tweetment
Posted Jan 21, 2019
Why is there a fence around a cemetery
People are dying to get in there
what's black and white with red all over
a zebra with a sunburn
Why didn't the computer eat its sandwich?
It already had a byte
Posted Dec 05, 2018
What do flowers drink?
A root beer
Why was the math book sad?
It had too many problems.
Knock knock Who's there? Broccoli. Broccoli who?
Broccoli doesn't have a last name!
Posted Dec 03, 2018
Why did the hot mini marshmallow go to Minnesota?
To get a mini soda.
What do you call a belt with a watch on it?
A waist of time!
